All right like a month ago I was thinking of blogs to do. And I said to myself, I said, “Alex tackle a topic that has been plaguing mankind for years. Tackle a problem that everyone knows, but the solution is ambiguous yet still capable to discover.” I searched for this topic for hours on end. And then I heard it, Meatloaf on the radio singing ‘I would do anything for love (but I wont do that)’. My mission was clear. Discover what Meatloaf wouldn’t do.
I was so excited to write this blog. So many classic jokes/puns/innuendos raced through my mind. It was shaping up to be the blog to end all blogs. I had a terrific opening calling Meatloaf out. Telling him that we needed to know. It was really funny I assure you. But then fate turned its ugly head (no offense fate, I am sure you are pretty in your own way but I was just using a clichéd figure of speech).
Research had to be done. I wanted to sound smart about the topic. Perhaps find some big names that have their own theories. I was hoping Clinton had a few stories that he might of shared with someone about what he wouldn’t do. I was quickly routed to the Wikipedia page for the song. It took no time to find the answer.
WARNING: I HAVE DISCOVERED THE TRUE ANSWER TO WHAT MR. LOAF WILL NOT DO FOR LOVE. AND TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST IT KIND OF BLOWS. IT KIND OF RUINS THE SONG A BIT. YOU MAY WANT TO STOP READING AND FIND SOME OTHER HUMDRUM ACTIVITY TO PAR-TAKE IN.
Wikipedia put it so eloquently that I will just copy/paste what they have, “Each verse comprises two things that he would do for love, followed by one thing that he would not do. It is that latter part of each verse that is the "that" of the title.” To help you I have written out the first two verses:
And I would do anything for love,
I'd run right into hell and back.
I would do anything for love,
I'll never lie to you and that's a fact.
But I'll never forget the way you feel right now, oh no, no way.
And I would do anything for love,
But I won't do that,
No I won't do that.
So you see what he will not do. He will never lie to you or forget the way you feel right now. I know right, isn’t that kind of disappointing?
Now I honestly feel I am a nice guy and in no way a pervert, but I was hoping the truth lied in some disgusting sex act that involved the anus. I think we all did.
